Its like a strange journey, I think, dream, feel, live, walk, run but I still don’t stop, I still aspire to move ahead, I can see the road moving on with me, I can see what’s ahead of me, I can see who’s following me, I can see who’s walking with me, but there’s something I cant really watch out, what will I receive next on the way, there’s so much I expect from this journey, there’s so much I really don’t expect, don’t even dream to expect, but still I can pen down what I don’t expect but as obvious I don’t really know the unexpected ones. I believe that’s the biggest mystery once could have ever tried to solve or solved or even thought of. I don’t say that I m really great in aspects of thinking what others don’t but I just want to reflect the difference of thoughts, wherein people just begin to push a “t” to the “thought” of unexpected, but without reaching ultimate “t” they we put a full stop to all. I said “we” put a full stop to all, as I m not an exception to the normal buzzing crowd of people, I am just a millionth part of it, nothing else. I live the same way everybody does, I give the same excuses of not finding time the way every1 else gives, I give the same excuses of being the busiest part of this busiest buzzing swarm of human beings. There’s something very strange I often not very often but still often find people saying” I don’t find time”. It’s this time that’s given me that schedule I m living in and fortunately its all for this time I can find myself so busy, but still I cant find time, isn’t that strange??? It’s this time I m living in but still I don’t find it. It’s this time that made me work hard, earn a 6 figure salary, build a huge house, live a hypocrite’s life and the best part of all- every evening when I get back from work I find that same address by default, but still I fail to find time. When I come back home, when my dad asks me” how was your day my child?” even then I find enough seconds of time to reply my dad back” Dad I got some work to do, can I talk to u later” During all my so called busy schedules when my dad again comes in to ask me” Beta do u have some time to….” Again I answer like a looser with a realization of being a winner of all” I m sorry dad I don’t really find time to...” Next day when I turned out to be successful in my presentation, got the deal done, got lots of appreciation and now when I m self satisfied with what I made out successful today, I still say the same to my dad when I see him” Dad I don’t find time as I got a party tonight.” After every achievement, that I sometimes regard as unexpected or expected, I feel so contended, I feel as a winner. But am I actually a winner????? It’s the time that made my existence in this world viable, its this time that gave me my mom, my dad, my relatives and everyone else, but still I m so framed up that I can find everything in this world ,except something that gave me all-TIME. When people ask me “whom do u live with” I speak with pride in my eyes” I live with my parents”, that implies howsoever huge we become in terms of name and salary but could never really grow up in our selves, in true sense, as at the end of day, I can’t find all that always accompanies me, that has always been a part of me, that has always given me a living I wanted, a way I thrived for. But still I fail to find them- I fail to find my mom, my dad and the god of all: time. What else could be more disgusting than this? I speak aloud myself as an egoist, I say I don’t forgive people, but still my heart shrinks down when I find my parents- “my mom, my dad and TIME” forgiving me despite of the fact that I never found them out, I never figured out anything for them, how could I figure out anything for them, when I never figured them out. Now when I look at my mirror image, I find the very same existence of my non-existence, “Lost, Lost, Lost” tag for me that my kids are gona gift me on our 25th wedding anniversary. As it’s ultimately” The way u sow, so u reap”, that’s a simple funda applied to all doers in this heavenly earth, so that’s nothing new that I would reap after few years from now.
I feel I m the biggest failure anybody in this world could have never thought of. Even I didn’t expect myself to be that big a failure, as I found myself achieving all those I wanted, and all those I didn’t expect but still I got them. Is this actually how I define as what is unexpected? That’s where I truly prove myself to be a human being. As the true essence of unexpected is” something one could never expect”, If I can’t expect it how could I think of it and how could I even dare to dream in the wildest of my dreams that I got it.
We human beings live with it but still we don’t realize that every time we r loosing something so big by not finding it out. That’s the most unexpected loss we always suffer from and the most unexpected forgiveness we always receive from those we never find who are moving away along with us, but with a difference- they are moving away apart from us.
THAT’S HOW LIFE GOES ON IT’S A CHEMISTRY OF ALL UNEXPECTED MYSTERIES……………
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